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  • 31 Dec 2008

    Is This The Worst Photograph Ever?

    A few months ago, I posted about going to an Annie Leibovitz exhibition, and how I was very disappointed. Seen all together, her photographs seemed incredibly lifeless. All style and technical wizadry, but no substance.

    Well, I'm not alone. The Online Photographer has some choice words for this photo.

    One thing there has unfortunately never been a shortage of is bad photographs, and collectively they parade a grand variety of shortcomings: there is unremitting blandness; poor taste; lack of taste; utter ignorance of taste; dullness (oh, much, much dullness); ostentation; unintentional humor; imitation; dishonesty; misguided attempts at aestheticism, and a great panoply of technical mistakes and missteps; the list goes on and on.

    But for inspired badness, this recent "photograph"* by Annie Leibovitz for the Lavazza calendar has it all: a pandering (unto capitulation) to empty style; excessive color which is nevertheless unattractive; an attractive model who is also unattractive (though she got legs! But what the hell is with that expression?); a really woeful idea (Romulus and Remus and their wolf-mother—oh, please) that nevertheless doesn't even work; heavyhanded overproduction; no trace of irony; a blatantly fake background that doesn't even try to match the studio-shot foreground; a baby butt, for that touch of smack-you-with-a-dead-fish cuteness; campy makeup, kitschy hair; and, to top it all off, a hilariously incongruous product placement like an embarrassing pimple. Ms. Leibovitz has made some great photographs in her time, and she's very far from the worst photographer ever, but she's also one of the most inconsistent of top photographers and her latest excesses of "stylyness"** are such a relentlessly wrong direction it's almost impossible to overstate, pretentious and vulgar in balanced measure. This picture as a whole has absolutely zero connection to reality or honest depiction, but is unredeemed by any countervailing expressive or artistic purpose. And (and this puts it out in front of many other contenders) it was all done intentionally, front to back, top to bottom, money-no-object, by an army of the most talented professionals, from art director to stylists to make-up artists to baby-wranglers to lighting assistants to photographer to digital retoucher, all working assiduously in concert in pursuit of the utterly pointless. You can name other contenders, but I think you have your work cut out for you. This is it.

    Go to the link above to join in the fun!

     

     


    Comments 2

  • 31 Dec 2008

    Nerd Break #127

    Want to play with simulated cloth physics? You may not know it, but you probably do. It's interesting for a couple of minutes. Honest.

     

     


    Comments 0

  • 30 Dec 2008

    I Suspect I'll Still Be Wearing Falsies...

    ... even though a new drug has been approved in the US that makes your eyelashes grow long and thick and dark.  'Latisse' was developed after fabulous eyelashes were noticed as a side effect in people taking a drug for glaucoma. Still, I can't imagine they'll grow big enough for my purposes, so I imagine Make Up Forever can continue buying solid gold everything from the profits they make out of me.

    Of course I looked for a nice eyelash pic to go with this post. Like this one:

    Pretty.

    But then I saw this:

    It said it's an eyelash mite. Ewwww!

    Then I found this one:

    Yep. More eyelash mites. EWWWWWWWW!!!!

    And then, I saw this...

    It's eyelash 'nits and eggs'. EEEWWWWW EWWWWWW EWWWWW!!!!!

    I know some of you kids still cling to a belief in God. Well, I ask you! What kind of God would invent eyelash mites?! Look at them!

    I rest my case. There is no God.

    You can give yourself the heebie jeebies by reading about them if you want.

     

     


    Comments 0

  • 30 Dec 2008

    Penny For Your Thoughts

    Penny is saying, "Trust me. I'm not really in heat anymore. Honest. I'm just a little bit horny. And anyway, I don't fancy any of the other dogs here. So take this lead off and let me run free again!"

    So I did. But just to make sure, I bunged up her little pussy with some Blu Tack and gaffer tape. No daughter of mine is going to be trawling the beach like a common tramp! That's my territory.

     

     


    Comments 0

  • 30 Dec 2008

    If You Like It Then Ya Shoulda....

    I don't know who did the original choreography for Beyonce's 'Single Ladies' video (was it the trannie in the video, as the rumours suggest?) but whoever it was deserves some sort of award. Is there a dance version of the Oscars? When was the last time that a single dance routine has inspired so many people and worked its way into the public consciousness like 'Single Ladies' has? And it deserves to. Even after all the imitations, the original is still brilliant.

    I didn't think I'd be posting yet another version, but this one is wonderful. It's three professional male dancers doing their version, with some 'bonus' choreography. There's very little information on the YouTube (are we supposed to recognise the dancers names? Are they well known Broadway dancers perhaps?) but it does look like it might be filmed on the set of a Broadway-type show. Any musical-queen out there recognise the set/costumes maybe? The Color Purple? That's a musical now right? And actually, the dancers call themselves Purple Haze so maybe I'm on the right track here...

    UPDATE: Thanks to Unarocks I now know that the original choreographer is a 19yr old (!!) called Jaquel Knight from Atlanta, and the dance style is known as J-setting. Here's a blog post about Jaquel and J-setting.

     

     


    Comments 3

  • 30 Dec 2008

    Prince Willy Bear

    For the first time ever, I think I'd do Wiliam first...

     

     


    Comments 1

  • 30 Dec 2008

    One Year In 40 Seconds


     You can read about the video on the photographer Eirik Solheim's blog.

     

     


    Comments 1

  • 30 Dec 2008

    "Where Yesterday Began"

    There's a lovely, somewhat sad story, that goes with this picture. Take five minutes and read it.

     

    UPDATE: If you read it, you might want to know a little more about Edith.

     

     


    Comments 1

  • 29 Dec 2008

    Dame Edna's Cosmetics

    The Dame Edna collection of cosmetics is available from Mac, for a limited time. There are eye-shadows, high-lighters, nail polishes, lip colours... I'm heading in to town to pick up a Varicose Violet nail lacquer!

     

     


    Comments 1

  • 29 Dec 2008

    Hey. Nice Bush!

    In these straightened economic times, people are spending less on luxury items, and one of the first expenditures to get shaved off (so to speak) is personal landscaping. Even Playboy have noticed the trend apparently. I guess this is good news for you dykes who never wanted your genitals to look like they'd be more comfortable on a pre-pubescent girl. Or indeed on Barbie.

     

     


    Comments 0

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